Hey.

The last couple months have been ridiculous. Had you noticed?

I really wished I’d be able to look back on these weeks of unemployment and confinement as a time of great cultural, educational, and spiritual growth. I signed up for classes, bought art supplies, made a to-do list of backordered projects, knowing that surely I’d conquer all these things and still find time for boredom.

And yet, 6 weeks later, I haven’t reached the end of the to-do list.

I haven’t become Monet. I haven’t chiseled rocky abs. I haven’t become an expert in a new topic. Sheesh, I haven’t even finished the online course that was “due” in January.

Something happened to me when I was asked by the world to stay home, when I was told I wouldn’t be needed at my job anymore. Something unanticipated. Something disappointing, that no matter my desire, I could not overcome:

I stopped wanting to. I stopped wanting to go above and beyond, stopped wanting to jump higher higher and even still higher, stopped wanting to burn the candle at both ends. I stopped wanting to push, stopped wanting to stretch…stopped wanting to grow.

Perhaps I had simply had my fill of change. Perhaps my mind screamed and writhed and cowered at the thought of another push, another adaptation. Perhaps I just need to work on myself as a human being instead of a human doing or human growing.

BUT…

Through all the change, through all the upheaval, through all the adaptation, through all of it, God hasn’t failed me yet. He has orchestrated all things together for my good (check Romans 8:28). Even when I could not understand His plan, I knew I could trust His heart.

So, with joy I share that although I lost employment on April 17, as of June 1st I will be employed as a physical therapist in my preferred location, preferred setting, with a group of coworkers who share my values. God orchestrated a job opening months ago, primed for my change in heart from a love of travel and dynamic job settings toward a desire to seek a permanent position. He led me to the clinic’s website on a wide Google search, and facilitated the clinic owner’s prompt reply to my emailed resume (which was supplied to more than 30 contacts across a 150 mile radius). God orchestrated a quick interview appointment, and most graciously answered my prayer of avoiding a mediocre interview which would complicate my decision. He even afforded me the grace of only one interview, rather than multiple opportunities to choose from. 😉 He knows my heart!

After accepting the position with little hesitation, He guided my housing hunt. After failing to find rental properties, I was gently turned away from my comfort zone of rentals to contact a realtor, who later facilitated a connection that led me to a rental property perfectly suited to my needs — available in the timeframe I needed, rather than wanted.

And tonight, I am wrapping up pre-employment paperwork and rituals and trying to settle the butterflies as I gear up for day 1 of another new normal. A new normal in which I step through glass doors recently etched with “Dr. Jessica S, DPT, OCS”, a normal of fostering relationships with smiling faces in a new community to serve. A new normal in which I try my hardest to live up to the website bio that seems too good to be me. A new normal that still boasts how God has been active in my life.

He’s always been faithful!

So as we continue to navigate these troubling times, please remember what I almost forgot: Even when we cannot understand God’s plan, we can always trust His heart. ♥️